Historical Inaccuracies and Other Movie Sins
by KitKatt0430
Summary: Iris just wants to watch Pearl Harbor in peace. Unfortunately neither of her boyfriends like the movie.


Summary: Iris just wants to watch Pearl Harbor in peace. Unfortunately neither of her boyfriends like the movie.

Notes: For ColdWestAllen Week 2019 - May 28 - The 40s

The main movie discussed is _Pearl Harbor_, which is less about the actual Pearl Harbor bombing and more about the love triangle that no one cares about and would've been easily solved with an OT3 instead of killing off the more likable of the two guys. (I have strong opinions about how bad this movie is, okay?)

**_Historical Inaccuracies and Other Movie Sins_**

"What the hell are you two watching?" Len asked, absolute horror in his voice as he stared at the tv screen.

"Don't blame me," Barry spoke up from behind his tablet. "I did not choose this movie. I would never choose this movie. Having to watch it in history class back in high school was torture enough."

"Oh, shut up, Barry. It's a good movie," Iris grumbled, pausing it to turn around and peer at Len. "I know what his problems with the movie are, but what are yours?"

"Like the blatant historical inaccuracies and sidelining the stories of actual WW2 heroes so those characters can shill for the main cast aren't good enough reasons to hate this movie with the burning passion of a thousand suns," Barry muttered, ducking down further behind his tablet when Iris glowered at him.

"Scarlet makes a good point," Len agreed. "Take Cuba Gooding Jr.'s character, for example. Based on a real person, the first black man to receive the Navy Cross. Much more interesting story there; I'd personally love a movie all about him." Iris reluctantly nodded in agreement, conceding the point.

"I can actually excuse most of the military inaccuracies because Hollywood never gets that shit right anyway..." Len paused a moment to sort out his thoughts, "but the one guy who participates in the Battle of Britain, Pearl Harbor, and the Doolittle Raid -"

"Rafe," Iris filled in.

"- could not have conceivably done so. Americans did volunteer to join the RAF before the US joined the war, but not active military. That would've been a violation of neutrality; military officers could only help in non-combatant positions. So he could have been present for the battle in other capacities, but not as a pilot. And since they established he piloted single engine planes, its incredibly unlikely he'd have been tapped to fly a B-25 as the twin engine planes were an entirely different skill set."

"Okay, fine, so historical and military inaccuracies abound. But the main story..." Iris trailed off when Barry and Len pinned her with near identical looks of disbelief. "Oh, come on, its not that bad. It's on par with _Titanic_ and that's a classic."

"Really not helping your case with the _Titanic_ comparison," Len responded unhesitatingly. "The acting is stilted and often terrible - no fault of the actors, we've all seen them do better - because the writing is that bad. The writing makes it sound like the characters think they're the first people to ever end up in an unexpected love triangle. Everyone talks up how awesome Rafe is, but his personality and the events of the movie mean there's absolutely nothing backing up those claims. Other main guy-"

"Danny."

"- seems like he's more in love with Rafe than whats-her-name."

"Evelyn."

"I thought that was Evie's name in _The Mummy_."

"Also used here; I wouldn't be reading the latest _Shannara_ book if we were watching _The Mummy_," Barry spoke up.

"I wouldn't be complaining if you were watching _The Mummy_ either," Len muttered.

"We could watch the _Shannara Chronicles_ next," Iris said, tone too sweetly innocent for her to be unaware of what an offensive thing she'd just offered.

"Fuck no," Barry snapped. "That was an insult to all things _Shannara_ and don't pretend you weren't ranting for days about how they turned the ceremony of choosing into a blindfolded race full of toxic masculinity and a heaping helping of misogyny."

"Okay, yes, that was a bridge too far," Iris conceded with a wince. "Ugh, that show was terrible. Good thing there was only one season."

"No, there's a second season now," Len said, as cheerfully as possible. Unlike them, he'd never gotten invested in the _Shannara_ book series. He snickered when they both groaned.

"No, there isn't," Iris insisted. "No one would dare do something so sick and wrong."

Len rolled his eyes. "Anyway, back to the travesty that is _Pearl Harbor_," he redirected before the _Shannara_ thing could go too far, "the movie could have ended a lot more naturally than it did had it concluded with the aftermath of the attack instead of including the Doolittle Raids. The only thing that painfully awful part of the movie really added was Danny's death and denying Evelyn her agency in choosing who she wanted as her romantic interest... or even choosing neither of them. Or both, though Hollywood would never go for that."

"Yeah, some sort of poly relationship definitely would've made the movie more watchable," Barry agreed.

Iris nodded. "Yes and... you're right. The movie is awful and terrible and should probably have all copies of it burned in a bonfire by Mick, but... its my guilty pleasure and I get to watch it now. So either grab a book and join us or go elsewhere and let me watch this crappy movie in peace."

Len rolled his eyes. "I'll go get a book. You might as well take it off pause; its not like I'll be missing anything." Then, before actually heading out of the room to get the aforementioned book, Len took a moment to kiss first Iris, then Barry, on the cheek.

Barry hummed in pleasure and beamed when Iris snuggled closer to him on the couch to make room for Len to join on her other side. "You can pick the next movie," she promised him as she hit play.

"How about _The Librarian_?"

"Think Len'll go for that one?"

"He thought _Romancing the Stone_ was hilarious and _The Librarian_ is in the same genre."

"Yeah, but _Romancing the Stone_ had that rogue lite character that Len thought was hilarious." Iris dropped her head against Barry's shoulder.

"It's also an _Indiana Jones_ parody; he loves those." Barry batted his eyes at Iris, adding, "nerdy guy wins the heart of hot action girl... what's not to enjoy?"

She rolled her eyes. "It is funny," she conceded. "And if I get to watch my guilty pleasure movie then I guess you do too."

"And then Len picks the one after that," Barry agreed.

They paused a moment and then near simultaneously agreed "heist movie."

(Len does not choose a heist movie. He chooses _The Day After Tomorrow_ and snickers while Barry whines about the bad science and how everyone should be dead and dammit, Len, why would you do this to me?

Iris cannot stop giggling the whole time.)

* * *

Notes: Don't even try to defend the _Shannara Chronicles_ to me. That show was a travesty and the people responsible for the awful writing decisions should be ashamed of themselves. If I start listing everything wrong with season one alone (I refuse to watch season two) then I would run out of space in these notes.

That being said... go read the books. _The Elfstones of Shannara_ revolves largely around the platonic relationship between Wil and Amberle - a very clearly platonic, non-romantic relationship. Other books explore the strong bonds of siblinghood and the necessity of ethics in both science and magic alike. The first book - _The Sword of Shannara_ \- is very LoTR esque, but that was publisher meddling. Once the first book was out, subsequent books were far better in quality - the meddling showed - and originality. Don't worry too much about book order, as there are often whole generational gaps between sub-series within the main series. So just make sure you're picking up book one of a sub-series and you'll be good to go.

(Len knows all the facts about the movie Pearl Harbor because its Lisa's guilty pleasure movie too. And he's sat through it many times because sometimes you sit through movies you hate in order to be around the people you love.)


End file.
